When to Say "Congratulations" and When It’s Inappropriate

"Congratulations" is a word used to express joy, pride, or approval when someone achieves something significant or reaches a milestone. The Cambridge Dictionary defines "congratulations" as "an expression communicating to someone how pleased you are about his or her success or happiness."

Note: The plural "Congratulations" with an -s is used 99% of the time--unless you're writing or saying a phrase like "a note of congratulation"--because, as one author said, why be stingy with just one 'congratulation'? 

Understandably, because there are many occasions and causes for people to find success or happiness, English learners tend to get confused about when they can say "Congratulations!" For example, I sometimes see comments on YouTube videos around the likes of "Great video! Congratulations!" Someone once sent me a greeting on Teacher's Day with the message of "Happy Teacher's Day! Congratulations!"

While I sincerely appreciated the message, and also recognize that people who leave "congratulations"  in YouTube comments are sincerely sending well-wishes, I've realized that learners have mistakenly understood "Congratulations" as an all-around remark to express admiration or satisfaction, which is not really the proper use of this word. 

Let's then look at when it is appropriate to say "Congratulations" as well as when it NOT proper to do so. 

Appropriate Occasions to Say "Congratulations"

1. Academic achievements:

• Graduations: Whether it’s high school, college, or a PhD, completing an academic program is a significant achievement.
• Passing exams: Someone who passed an important exam or certification certainly deserves recognition for their effort and hard work.
• Awards and honors: When someone receives an academic award, scholarship, or honor, send them your congratulations.

2. Professional milestones:

• Job promotions: Advancing in one’s career through a promotion is a moment of pride.
• New job: Securing a new job, especially in a competitive field, is a good occasion to compliment and congratulate someone. 
• Successful projects: Completing a major project or achieving significant work-related goals merits celebration. 

3. Personal achievements:

• Marriage and engagements: Traditional etiquette says that we offer congratulations to a man and best wishes to a lady whether it's their engagement or their wedding, but more recent attitudes seem to show that it's all right and acceptable to use the word 'congratulations' to greet the newly-engaged or newlywed couple.  Of course,  you might always have that friend or relative who would point out the distinction, but you could always settle the debate by saying what matters is that you are extending good will and happiness for the couple. 
• Birth of a child: When parents welcome a new family member, or especially when they become parents for the first time, it is customary to reach out to them or send them a card with messages like, "Congratulations on the birth of your little one!" or "Warm wishes to you on the arrival of your new baby!"
• Personal goals: Completing a marathon, writing a book, or perhaps getting to the summit of Mt. Everest or, of course, some other mountain, are examples of personal goal achievements that merit congratulations. 

4. Awards and competitions:

• Sports victories: When a person or team wins a game, match, or tournament, whether big or small, they can be congratulated. It doesn't have to be a major national or international game--it could be as small as a bowling tournament on your annual Sports Day at work . Offering congratulations is just a way to celebrate sportsmanship and the unique pleasure that we get from play. 
• Artistic achievements: We also extend our congratulations to those who receive awards for artistic endeavors such as music, art, or theater. This may also include staging a show successfully such as an exhibition or recital. 
• Competitions: Besides sports, there are all manners of competitions  from baking contests to spelling bees and world records. If you know someone who has won at a competition like those mentioned, send them your congratulations. 

When NOT to Say "Congratulations"

1. Don't use "congratulations" as an all-around happy greeting.

• From the list above, you hopefully now have a clearer idea of when to give congratulations to someone. In other words, we don't really say "congratulations" to someone whose YouTube video was something we really liked, UNLESS the video was all about celebrating a milestone such as reaching the 100,000 to one million+ subscriber count that all creators aspire to do. We reserve our congratulations for important milestones and achievements.
• If an author, filmmaker, or some other content creator has produced something that you think is worthy  of compliments, you could instead say something like, "Well done!" or "Good job!" or "Excellent work!" 
• We don't give congratulations for birthdays and holidays such as Teacher's Day, New Year, or Christmas. For these occasions, it is safe to stick to the usual greetings such as "Happy Birthday" or "Happy Teacher's Day."

2. Don't use "congratulations" in sensitive situations such as:

• Divorces or breakups: Unless the person has obviously expressed that they view it as a positive change, it’s better to offer support rather than congratulations. A supportive comment could be: "I hope you're doing okay—let me know if you need anything" or  "I hope this brings you the fresh start you were looking for." 
• Personal decisions: Some personal decisions, such as choosing not to have children or changing careers, might not always be seen as achievements by the person himself/herself. Respect their perspective and emotions by simply expressing understanding. 
• Winning a legal battle: Winning a legal battle can be quite sensitive, especially in painful cases involving relationships or severe controversy. Instead of saying 'Congratulations', you could say a neutral remark like, "I hope this allows you to move forward in the way you want" or "I'm glad you got the outcome you were hoping for."
• ​Financial inheritance: Receiving a large inheritance due to the death of a family member or other sensitive financial gains might not always be celebrated.

Better Alternatives for Different Situations
For achievements (small or everyday successes)

• Well done!
• Good job!
• Nice work!
• That’s impressive!

For general encouragement or support

• Keep it up!
• Way to go!
• You’re doing great!
• Proud of you!

For good wishes (Not achievements)

• Best of luck! (for future endeavors)
• All the best!
• Wishing you success!

For celebratory cheers

• Cheers! (for toasts and casual congratulations)
• Here’s to you!
• Wishing you happiness!

Anything involving manners and etiquette requires sensitivity and even more so when dealing with different cultures and speaking in another language. Hopefully, this article was helpful in at least sorting out when it is proper to say "congratulations." Please feel free to leave a comment if you have questions.