English By the Day
  • Home
  • GENERAL ENGLISH
    • Idioms
    • Phrasal Verbs
  • IELTS LEARNING HUB
    • IELTS SPEAKING
    • IELTS WRITING
    • IELTS READING
  • IELTS COACHING
  • WORKSHOPS & WEBINARS
  • Contact

IELTS Writing

All
Common Writing Errors
General Training Task 1
IELTS Writing Task 2

What We Can Learn from a Model IELTS Essay (Advantages/Disadvantages)

9/5/2025

0 Comments

 
Picture
Photo by Zen Chung: https://www.pexels.com
​When you look at the official Cambridge IELTS practice tests, you’ll often see model essays written by real examiners in the answer key. Studying them is crucial because they show you exactly what examiners value in a high-scoring response. In this post, we’re going to take one of those questions, read through the model answer, and then look closely at how it’s structured to understand why it's effective. 

This is an IELTS General Training Writing Task 2 prompt: 
In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time.
What are the reasons for this development?
​What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?
​The following essay was written by an examiner: 
It is increasingly common for people to hold down more than one job. Gone are the days when people could rely on one source of income to satisfy all their financial needs. I would like to consider the reasons for this change and outline its advantages and disadvantages.

People take on extra work because making ends meet has become so challenging. In recent years, the cost of living has risen exponentially, making it a real challenge to break even at the end of the month. Additionally, advertising companies relentlessly promote the idea that more wealth means more happiness, a concept that many people believe. They may take on freelance jobs or weekend work in the hope of improving their lot in life.

A person with more than one job may experience several benefits. Diversifying your skills and gaining more experience can make you more employable when negotiating the highly competitive job market. Avoiding putting all your eggs in one basket is also a wise move as you have something to fall back on if one source of income stops.

There are also many downsides to this situation. Working for more than one company can quickly leave a person feeling overworked and burnt out. It also leaves limited time for being with family and friends or doing things you enjoy. What's more, when you are spread too thin, you may produce poor-quality work.

Overall, I think it is important to remain balanced. Having an additional source of income can be beneficial if you keep work in its place, but it is not worth damaging your health and relationships for the sake of a slightly larger bank balance. 

Overall Structure of the Model Essay
The essay follows a very clear 5-part structure:
  1. Introduction – introduces the topic, paraphrases the prompt, and gives an overview of what will be discussed.
  2. Body Paragraph 1 – explains reasons why people nowadays take on more than one job.
  3. Body Paragraph 2 – discusses the advantages of having multiple jobs.
  4. Body Paragraph 3 – discusses the disadvantages of having multiple jobs.
  5. Conclusion – offers a balanced overall opinion, summarizing the discussion.

Paragraph-by-Paragraph Analysis

​1. Introduction
"It is increasingly common for people to hold down more than one job. Gone are the days when people could rely on one source of income to satisfy all their financial needs. I would like to consider the reasons for this change and outline its advantages and disadvantages."
  • Paraphrase of the question: “It is increasingly common…” → restates the idea of people having multiple jobs.
  • Hook/interesting opening: “Gone are the days when…” → stylistically strong; creates engagement.
  • Thesis statement: Clear promise to the reader: the essay will consider reasons and advantages/disadvantages.
  • Notable vocabulary:
    • hold down a job → nice collocation, more vivid than just “have a job"
    • Gone are the days… → idiomatic, stylistic flourish
    • one source of income → another way to say "just one job"
    • satisfy all their financial needs → formal phrasing

👉 Takeaway for test-takers:
Keep your introduction short but purposeful. Restate the topic in your own words, and signal exactly what you will cover. A touch of stylistic language (like “Gone are the days…”) can make your writing more engaging. While many sources advise against using idiomatic expressions and metaphors, this model answer shows that when they are used naturally and appropriately, they can work well. However, test-takers should be careful to avoid overused clichés, as these rarely add value and can make the writing sound less original.


2. Body Paragraph 1 – Reasons
"People take on extra work because making ends meet has become so challenging. In recent years, the cost of living has risen exponentially, making it a real challenge to break even at the end of the month. Additionally, advertising companies relentlessly promote the idea that more wealth means more happiness, a concept that many people believe. They may take on freelance jobs or weekend work in the hope of improving their lot in life."
  • Main idea (topic sentence): The reason is financial pressure (“making ends meet”).
  • Development: Explains why (cost of living has risen exponentially).
  • Additional reason: Social/psychological influence from advertising.
  • Example/detail: Mentions freelance jobs/weekend work to make it concrete.
  • Notable vocabulary:
    • take on extra work → useful phrasal verb, natural in this context
    • making ends meet → idiomatic but widely accepted, fits the topic very well
    • risen exponentially → formal academic collocation
    • break even → a business/finance idiom that precisely describes earning enough money to pay for expenses
    • relentlessly promote → a strong collocation that shows intensity
    • improving their lot in life → semi-formal idiomatic phrase

👉 Takeaway for test-takers:
When giving reasons, don’t just list them. Start with one clear idea, explain it, then add another. Use supporting detail (like freelance/weekend jobs) to make it specific and believable. 

Notice that the model essay uses the phrasal verb “to take on” (as in “take on extra work” or “take on freelance jobs”). Some IELTS guides suggest avoiding phrasal verbs altogether, since a few of them can sound too informal for academic writing. However, this example shows that when a phrasal verb is natural to the context and not overly casual, it can actually strengthen your vocabulary range.

The model essay also uses the phrase “improving their lot in life.” This is an idiomatic expression meaning to improve one’s overall situation or circumstances. While it is still technically an idiom, it fits the topic very naturally and sounds more formal than conversational. Using expressions like this can add lexical range, as long as they are appropriate to the context  and not overused.​


3. Body Paragraph 2 – Advantages
"A person with more than one job may experience several benefits. Diversifying your skills and gaining more experience can make you more employable when negotiating the highly competitive job market. Avoiding putting all your eggs in one basket is also a wise move as you have something to fall back on if one source of income stops."
  • Main idea (topic sentence): There are several benefits.
  • Advantage 1: Diversify skills → become more employable.
  • Advantage 2: Financial security (“not putting all your eggs in one basket”).
  • Support: Both advantages are explained logically, not just listed.
  • Good Vocabulary:
    • diversifying your skills → academic/professional tone
    • make you more employable → precise, natural collocation
    • negotiating the highly competitive job market → sophisticated collocation
    • putting all your eggs in one basket → an idiom but fits perfectly with financial/job context.
    • to fall back on → phrasal verb, but formal enough here

👉 Takeaway for test-takers:
When discussing pros/cons, make sure each advantage/disadvantage is stated clearly and then explained. As mentioned in the previous paragraphs, idioms (like “putting all your eggs in one basket”) and phrasal verbs (like "fall back on") can show vocabulary range when used naturally.


4. Body Paragraph 3 – Disadvantages
​
"There are also many downsides to this situation. Working for more than one company can quickly leave a person feeling overworked and burnt out. It also leaves limited time for being with family and friends or doing things you enjoy. What's more, when you are spread too thin, you may produce poor-quality work."
  • Main idea (topic sentence): There are many disadvantages.
  • Disadvantage 1: Overwork and burnout.
  • Disadvantage 2: Less time for personal life.
  • Disadvantage 3: Poor-quality work due to divided attention.
  • Good cohesion: “What’s more” smoothly introduces the final point.
  • Good Vocabulary:
    • downsides → good synonym for disadvantages
    • overworked and burnt out → natural collocations, strong impact
    • limited time → simple but accurate phrasing
    • What's more → cohesive device, informal but effective
    • spread too thin → idiomatic but widely used in professional contexts

👉 Takeaway for test-takers:
Cover at least two disadvantages and explain them. Use linking words to structure the flow (“also,” “what’s more”). Avoid bullet-point style listing.

​
5. Conclusion
"Overall, I think it is important to remain balanced. Having an additional source of income can be beneficial if you keep work in its place, but it is not worth damaging your health and relationships for the sake of a slightly larger bank balance."
  • Signal of conclusion: “Overall, I think…”
  • Balanced summary: Weighs pros and cons, showing nuanced thinking.
  • Personal position: Suggests balance rather than extreme agreement/disagreement.
  • Good Vocabulary:
    • remain balanced → concise, thoughtful phrase
    • keep work in its place → idiomatic, but fits academic tone
    • damaging your health and relationships → serious, impactful collocation
    • for the sake of a slightly larger bank balance → vivid, memorable ending; again an element of stylistic language but adds some impact to the conclusion

​👉 Takeaway for test-takers:
Conclude by summarizing the discussion, not by repeating the introduction word-for-word. A balanced, thoughtful final remark shows good “task response.”

General Recommendations for IELTS Test-Takers
1. Follow a clear structure
  • Intro → Reasons → Advantages → Disadvantages → Conclusion.
  • This keeps your essay logical and easy for the examiner to follow.
2. Paraphrase effectively
  • Don’t copy the task prompt. Use synonyms and rephrase (“making ends meet” instead of “earn enough money”).
3. Extend your ideas
  • For each point, explain why/how, and add detail or an example. Avoid one-sentence ideas.
4. Use cohesive devices naturally
  • Linkers like Additionally and What’s more raise your cohesion score. Avoid mechanical or forced linking (firstly, secondly, thirdly).
5. Balance style and clarity
  • Idioms (“spread too thin”) and metaphors (“all your eggs in one basket”) are great if used sparingly. Don’t force them and most especially, avoid clichés.
6. Conclude with a final message
  • Show a balanced or strong opinion, but strive to make it thoughtful. Don’t just write “In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages.”
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Common Writing Errors
    General Training Task 1
    IELTS Writing Task 2

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • GENERAL ENGLISH
    • Idioms
    • Phrasal Verbs
  • IELTS LEARNING HUB
    • IELTS SPEAKING
    • IELTS WRITING
    • IELTS READING
  • IELTS COACHING
  • WORKSHOPS & WEBINARS
  • Contact